


3:23 PM, The 4th Floor Breakroom Just Past the Nurses' Station.

by turn_turn_turn



Series: Um, Hello - A Meet-Cute AU Series [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (there's another one right there!), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bucky is an Outrageous Flirt, M/M, Meet-Cute, Steve is Under-caffeinated, and the author tries to squeeze in as many dick jokes as possible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 01:22:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8947600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turn_turn_turn/pseuds/turn_turn_turn
Summary: Steve snorts. "That's a lot of confidence for a man in a hospital gown - isn't your entire ass hanging out back there?"





	

**Author's Note:**

> Meet-cute premise: You know, I have no clue on this one. 
> 
> The ingredient list includes two cups of coffee, a pair of non-slip socks, a Herman Melville reference, and a smattering of dick jokes - make of that what you will.

Steve is midway through his shift and in dire need of coffee. Terrible need. _Grim_.   

He rubs his burning eyes and yawns widely as he makes his way to the small breakroom at the end of the hallway, where he knows he'll find the pot that Bernadette keeps brewing at all hours. It's usually burnt from sitting on the hot plate for too long, but Steve doesn't have enough time to make it to the hospital cafeteria and back. Plus, it's not like the coffee down there is ever any better.   

When Steve rounds the doorway to the little kitchenette he finds the room already occupied. A man in a blue hospital gown and turquoise non-slip socks is leaning his back against the tiny countertop, a mug of coffee held up under his nose, his eyes closed as he inhales deeply and beatifically.  

Steve notices that his left arm is missing below the shoulder.  Shoulder disarticulation or forequarter amputation? Steve can't tell from this angle.   

"Um, hey," Steve says quietly, hoping not to startle the guy into spilling the hot coffee down the front of his flimsy gown.    

The man's eyes open in a brief flash of startling grey-blue before sliding closed again. "Hey," the man sighs, obviously refocusing his attention on breathing in the fragrant steam rolling off his cup.   

Steve moves into the room, reaching inside the cupboard above the sink for one of the chipped, stained mugs. He chooses one with the least offensive pharmaceutical company logo on the side and pours himself a cup.   

It's too hot to drink right away, so Steve blows on the surface of the dark liquid, glancing back over at the man, who is obviously a patient and is also quite obviously _not_ where he should be.   

"Should you be drinking coffee?" Steve can't help but ask. "Caffeine interferes with some meds, ya know."   

The man's eyes open again, focusing on Steve, and they really are quite striking, in Steve's opinion – if anyone's asking, which they probably aren't. But still, _striking_. Or whatever.   

Steve shoots his cup a baleful glance, willing the liquid to cool faster.   

The man doesn't respond, just stares unblinking at Steve for a few long seconds.  

Steve shifts around in his ergonomic clogs under the scrutiny, taking the time to note that the man has chestnut hair pulled back into a small bun at the nape of his neck, some afternoon stubble decorating his strong jaw, and some rather pillowy-looking lips, and man, does Steve need some caffeine. Like, _immediately_.   

The plush lips slowly pull into an attractive smirk and the man squints his eyes a bit, still gazing at Steve face. "Have we met before?" he inquires.  

It takes Steve a few seconds to process the question, and several more to drag his eyes away from the man's mouth. Jesus. "Um, No. I don't think so, anyway."   

"Hmmm," the man hums, tilting his head back and dragging his eyes over Steve's frame with a thoughtful look. "You might be right – I think I'd remember for sure."   

"Ahh..." Steve flounders, feeling a blush creep up his neck. "Um, caffeine should really be avoided if you are on opioids for the, erm," he mutters, gesturing vaguely at the man's empty left sleeve and wondering where his typically reputable bedside manner has fucked off to.   

The man glances at his left shoulder, eyebrows raised as if surprised to find nothing attached to it.  

"Oh, that? That was last time." The man shrugs dismissively and looks back to Steve. "This time was only the minor issue of a burst appendix - so just the bargain-brand meds this go-round."  

"Oh, ah, good," Steve mumbles, and yeah, he is way, way too under-caffeinated for this conversation.   

The man doesn't seem perturbed by Steve's bumbling, however, and continues, "To answer your question, I have NOT been given the green light on coffee. In fact the words 'under no circumstances' might have been uttered. But as you can see, I am not _drinking_ it – I am only _smelling_ it. And unless you lack a heart under that chiseled physique you will let me continue to enjoy my meager pleasure. I'm an invalid, after all." He frowns at Steve in sad-puppy fashion.   

Steve shrugs and takes a tentative sip at his still-steaming coffee. Then he goes for a full gulp that only mildly scalds his throat on the way down, and oh sweet lord, that's the stuff.   

Instantly more settled, Steve offers the man what he hopes is an assertive and professional look. "Well, I've got my eye on you," Steve tells him.   

The man's smirk blossoms into an almost lecherous grin. "We can start with that, sure."    

Steve blinks, the penny suddenly dropping. "Are you _hitting on me_? In a _hospital_?"  

"You finally picked up on that, huh?"  

Steve bristles. "You ain't that subtle, buddy. Wait, was that really your opening line? 'Have we met?' Creative."  

"Well it worked, didn't it? We  _are_ talking. And you _are_  checking me out." The guy waggles his eyebrows comically.   

Steve snorts. "That's a lot of confidence for a man in a hospital gown - isn't your entire ass hanging out back there?"  

"I know what I'm wearing, man. You already excited to watch me walk away?" And now the guy actually _winks_.   

Steve snorts again. "Not for the reason you're insinuating."   

The man ignores the barb and continues with a mock-earnest expression, "To think I've been bothering to squeeze my best asset into skinny jeans all these years when I could've just gotten one of these." He plucks the fabric over his sternum and the front of the gown billows out over what is obviously a wide, firm chest. "Cuts right to the chase."   

Steve can't help but grin. "I'll give you the number for the hospital supply company – you can get a whole wardrobe of them. I've seen some really fetching pinstripe ones, actually. Some even have _pockets_."   

"Fantastic." The guy raises his mug in salute. "Two things though – one, it is a tad drafty around the bits, and two, I don’t think I need to trot out the bait anymore. I think I hooked the big one." And at this he offers what he clearly thinks is a winning smile.   

It is a little charming - in an unctuous, totally presumptuous sort of way. Or maybe just in a cute, downright sexy sort of way. Steve is more than a little confused at this point.   

"I think my fishing days are over," the man adds, and now his smile has turned the corner into sweetly hopeful, and Steve just _can't_ with this dude anymore.  

"Are you talking about me?" Steve feels his cheeks heat in spite of himself.   

"Yessir."  

"Are you calling me a _fish_?"  

"Only metaphorically."  

"Well then I agree to a date." Steve pauses to take a sip from his cup, swallowing a responding grin when the man beams at him. "But only metaphorically."  

The man theatrically presses the mug to his heart, face screwed up as if in pain. " _Ouch_ , man – what happened to 'do no harm?'" he protests, shaking his head and raising his mug to take another deep sniff. "So you're gunna be the one that got away, huh? Cruel fate. Hey, you'll be my Moby -"  

"DoNOT finish that sentence. Also, whales are not fish, they're marine mammals."  

"Where I am I gunna be without you to remind me stuff like that, huh? How can you leave me like this – mixing my metaphors and mistaking my taxonomy all over the place. It's _tragic_." The guy sighs dramatically and then squints one eye. "I feel like there's a 'harpooning' joke we're missing."  

"No, we aren't."  

"You sure?"  

"Pretty positive. Please also refrain from using the obvious 'great, white' segue."  

"'Great' I'll give you, but it's definitely more _pink_ than -"  

"Oh my God." Steve giggles helplessly and takes another gulp of coffee.   

"You're welcome to supply additional adjectives after a personal inspection." The man winks again, and how can Steve possibly find it sexy after _that_ line?   

He does, though.   

"I'm walking away now," Steve chuckles, starting to back out the door.  

"And the elusive Hunky Nurse Guy returns to the deep," the man mutters and then heaves a heavy sigh. "I'm room 508 if you change your mind about that date!" he calls out as Steve turns down the hallway.   

Steve giggles to himself and finishes off his mug of coffee as he walks back toward his desk. He needs to check up on Mrs. Stacey in 430 in the next half hour, and Mr. Bates might need a dressing change before final rounds.  

Steve sighs and rolls his neck a few times, wondering if he should have hung around the break room long enough to pour himself a second cup; it's going to be a long night.  

And if he is already considering dropping by the nurses' station on the 5th floor during his next break, that's his business.  

Sharon does owe him a snack, after all.   

And if Sharon happens to be covering rooms 500 through 510, just like she does every Tuesday shift -  well, that's just a coincidence.   

Obviously.   

  

 

\---  

 

  

 **A year** **later...**   

  

"Ughhh. You work too much," Bucky groans, wrapping his arm and legs around Steve as he tries to extricate himself from the bed and get dressed for his shift.   

Steve tries to wriggle out from Bucky's grasp. After a moment he gives up, going limp in defeat. "That's the nature of medicine, pal," he sighs. "You knew that going into this – you met me at the hospital."  

"I knowwwww, but I feel like we miss out on so much cuddle time – and the less G-rated time, too."   

"I'll make it up to you later," Steve promises, dropping a kiss on Bucky's forehead and rolling away from him, more successfully this time.   

"Alright, alright. Hey, what if I just come to the hospital with you? We can neck in the supply closet like they do on TV."  

"I don't know _what_ those shows think is so sexy about boxes of catheters and disinfectant. No way, Barnes - you're only allowed to come in as a patient. Which would not help the romance angle, I can assure you."   

"It worked once before!" Bucky points out. "I mean I could get, like, a _slight_ injury pretty easy – would that work?"  

Steve shrugs, pulling on his scrub pants. "Sure – try to aim for the face, would ya?"  

"Hey! You're supposed to say 'Never ever, my beautiful Buckeroo, I would never want you to compromise your immaculate physical form just for the sake of my measly presence -'"   

"Bye, baby. See you at seven," Steve cuts him off, leaning down for another kiss.   

Bucky grabs the back of Steve's neck, prolonging the embrace.  

Steve pulls back reluctantly, every part of him longing to just topple back into their warm, sleep-smelling sheets.   

"You never make this easy," Steve admonishes Bucky weakly, biting lightly at his bottom lip.  

"You're supposed to say 'you always make this so ha-"  

"Don’t you dare."  

Bucky flops back on the pillows, smirking.   

Steve stands up and gathers the last of his things. He pauses in the doorway, turning to Bucky with a finger raised. "And if I see you at the hospital later with so much as a paper cut, you're a dead man."   

" _There's_ the love I was looking for. Bye, Stevie." Bucky scrubs at his bare chest with his right hand, grinning.   

Steve grins back.  

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Obligatory Nurse!AU! I feel so alive! 
> 
> Thank you for reading, beautiful pals! <3


End file.
